One of the keys to helping kids become strong students is to help them become confident and independent learners.

Fun Family Activities

  • Knowledge is power. Knowledge also creates independence and confidence.
  • Teach your children as many facts and as much information as they're willing to soak up. Memorize poetry, the Gettysburg Address, and the Preamble to the Constitution.
  • Even if your child attends a private or public school, you should still be using homeschooling resources,which means taking every opportunity you can to make learning part of your family home activities.

Don't Be Afraid To Ask

  • Knowing when you need help to do a task or find your way as well as knowing how to ask for it are characteristics of confident and independent children.
  • Teach your child how to ask for directions, how to use the reference department of the library to get help with difficult questions, and how to ask a classmate or a teacher for homework help.
  • We always feel more confident if we know where we can turn when things get tough.

The World of Work

  • Help your child to learn how to be a valued employee by giving him responsibilities at home and encouraging him to find odd jobs in the neighborhood.

Up Front

  • Speaking in front of a group ranks right up there with dental surgery for most people.If you can help your child overcome his fear of speaking in front of the class, you'll have given him a real boost in confidence. 

Thank You Very Much

  • Learn how to give and accept compliments yourself and then teach this important social skill to your children.
  • Being able to graciously say thank you when someone says something nice to you is a skill that many people find difficult. But being able to do it is the mark of a confident person.

Home Sweet Home

  • Make sure that your children know that no matter what happens to them out in the "cold, cruel world," home is a safe place where parents and other family members will help them regroup and try again.

All for One and One for All

  • Develop a family motto or mission statement that will unify your family and focus your efforts on positive goals."We Care," "Energy and Excellence," or "Family First" are examples of mottos some families have chosen.

Safety First!

  • Children who have been taught the rules of safety will always feel more secure and independent than those who haven't.
  • Teaching safety begins the minute your infant begins moving around independently and ends when your kids leave home to live on their own.
  • Don't leave the important safety lessons to chance or to someone else. Arm your children with information and rules.

Who's Calling Please?

  • My first impressions of children I haven't met are often formed when they answer a telephone call I make. I can tell a lot about parents and their children from a brief telephone exchange.
  • Give your child a script to follow and spend time rehearsing with him before you permit him to answer on his own.
  • After he's passed the telephone answering course, begin teaching him how to make telephone calls to seek out information for you: how to look up numbers in the phone book, how to find the telephone number of someone who isn't in the phone book, and how to make simple information-gathering phone calls to find out when a movie starts or whether a store has something in stock are all confidence builders for a child.

Walk a Mile

  • As far as I'm concerned walking has got to be one of the best things ever invented. It cures ills and ailments, helps us lose weight and keep fit, enables us to enjoy the beauty of nature, gives us time to talk and share with family and friends, and is a guaranteed way to reduce stress. The benefits are endless!
  • Start walking daily with your children. You will be amazed at the stupendous side effects. Keep track of your mileage and when you reach important milestones (50 or 100 miles), celebrate with a party.

Teamwork

  • Give yourself a gold star if during the past twenty-four hours you worked on a project or a task with your child. Perhaps you cooked a meal, cleaned out the garage, raked leaves, or pulled weeds.
  • You don't get points if you assigned the chore and then went on to do something else on your own. You also don't get points if you started out working together with your child and then threw up your hands in impatience and said, "Run along and play. I can finish this."
  • Allow your child to experience the satisfaction of working side-by-side with an adultand receiving a pat on the back for a job well done (or done at all).

Remember, raising a confident and independent child won't happen overnight and it won't happen unless you begin to cultivate those qualities on a daily basis. Don't nag your child to be independent and confident. Teach by example how to do it.


 

Elaine K. McEwan-Adkins is a former teacher and principal, and now is an educational consultant in Arizona. Read more tips for parents at www.elainemcewan.com.