Things to Do Ahead of Time

  1. Pick a date. Write it on a calendar in a location everyone in the family will notice. Explain briefly what the meeting is about and make sure everyone knows that the meeting is mandatory.
  2. Make copies of the Financial Responsibility Inventory for each family member. Do this a week before the meeting and ask everyone to bring completed inventories to the meeting.
  3. Tell family members to keep an expense log for the week. Family budgeting includes all expenses, so ask them to keep track of everything they spend money on (gum, newspapers) for a week, no matter how minor the expense.
  4. Pick a location for the meeting that is comfortable and quiet. Turn off the TV, the computer, and the cell phones. Choose a setting where each person can express his or her feelings comfortably.
  5. Make the meeting pleasant. Order a pizza or make ice cream sundaes to get everyone in a relaxed mood. The topic is serious, but the meeting doesn’t have to be grim.

How to Conduct the Summit

  1. Start the meeting by reading examples from the expense log. After all family members have had a chance to share family ideas, ask each person to report on their area of greatest spending.
  2. Read each question on the Financial Responsibility Inventory. Celebrate the areas that all family members agree on, and discuss areas of disagreement. But set a time limit (for example, five minutes of discussion for every point of disagreement). If someone comes up with other categories, write them down and discuss them. Welcome discussion, but make sure your kids understand that parents have the final say. Work hard to find compromises.
  3. Create a list of consequences for not meeting an agreed-on financial responsibility (such as paying a cell phone bill). For example: first offense—apology accepted; second offense—formal discussion; third offense—privileges withheld (cell phone, TV, computer, time with friends) for a specific amount of time.
  4. Write up your Family Financial Responsibility Agreement using the Financial Responsibility Inventory and list of consequences.
  5. End the meeting on a positive note. Talk about what everyone has learned from the meeting and what strategies you will use next time.

After the Summit

  1. Post the final list where everyone in the house can see it, and don’t be afraid to modify the list if necessary.