Sleep is crucial to growing bodies and minds. Try these family ideas to help your child get the rest she needs at every age and stage.

Crawl

Purpose: To show your child that “sleeping like a baby” is more than an expression.
Play: Most newborns are so sleepy that parents are tricked into thinking they’ve brought home an angel. Hungry wails soon pierce that sense of security. Even during those first several weeks of around-the-clock waking, eating, changing, and sleeping, parents can begin training their babies to stay awake longer during the day and — hallelujah! — sleep longer at night.

Starting when your baby is a few weeks old, play with him during the day as much as possible, and don’t hesitate to wake him from a sound nap for a scheduled meal. When he wakes for nighttime feedings, use only dim lights and speak in quiet, soothing tones. These cues will teach him that daytime is for fun and nighttime is for sleeping.

Child sleep expert Dr. Jodi A. Mindell says that the best time to establish good sleep habits is between the ages of 6 weeks and 3 months. “The baby is physically able to sleep for prolonged stretches of time. He can’t climb out of his crib yet, and parents are probably at the point where they are ready to get more than four continuous hours of sleep,” she says.

It’s normal for babies to wake during the night even when they’re not hungry or wet. In these moments, they need to learn to fall back asleep without your help — and that’s accomplished by putting your baby to bed when he is still awake rather than rocking him to sleep and tiptoeing out of the nursery.

For safety reasons, lay infants on their backs on firm mattresses in cribs free of stuffed animals, pillows, and blankets (use footed pajamas instead).
Plus: Dr. Mindell says that although sleep is a huge issue — after all, she heads a sleep disorder center and has written several articles and books on the subject — success is three steps away:

  1. Setting and keeping a sleep schedule
  2. Sharing a consistent bedtime routine with your kids
  3. Putting your children to bed drowsy but awake.

Walk

Purpose: To make bedtime sweet rather than a struggle.
Play: Doing the same activities every night in the same order helps children relax and understand that the routine ends with them falling asleep — alone — in their crib or bed. This routine doesn’t have to be boring. Many families consider it a highlight of their day. A schedule might include:

  1. Quiet play. Make a no-TV-after-dinner rule to keep action-packed shows from revving up your child at the end of the day. Instead, encourage calm activities such as coloring, reading, or board games.
  2. Bath and tooth brushing. A warm, sudsy turn in the tub doesn’t just remove the day’s dirt — it loosens up tightly wound bodies and prepares them for rest.
  3. Last potty or fresh diaper and PJs. When potty-training, make sure your child is going to bed with an empty bladder.
  4. Storytime. Choose familiar books that will soothe rather than scare or excite. Set aside tales of monsters, magic, and wild things for daylight reading sessions. Once you have a few favorites, read the same books night after night. What may be repetitive for you is hugely comforting for your child.
  5. Tuck in with a lullaby. Choose a song when your baby is born and sing it every night. Don’t feel tied down to the standards. Any soothing song can be a lullaby, even show tunes. Pick one you enjoy singing — maybe it’s the one your mother sang to you — and one that lasts less than a minute so nobody falls asleep mid-chorus.
  6. Give your child her lovey, give her a kiss, and leave the room. Many children snuggle down with a favorite stuffed animal or blankie. Studies have found that these so-called transitional objects help children settle down easier and stay asleep longer, so definitely encourage the practice (and keep a duplicate on hand if at all possible)! Make a matter-of-fact exit, with a brief hug and kiss and a firm “good night.”

Whatever your routine, make sure the last 10 minutes or so take place in your child’s room to help her associate it with good feelings — don’t use her room for timeouts or a place of punishment.

Plus: “Make sleep important,” says Dr. Mindell. “Just like you help your kids eat their veggies and brush their teeth, sleep is at the top of the list. Everyone will function much better on the right amount of sleep.”

Run

Purpose: Banish the boogeyman in any way that works.
Play: Bad habits and active imaginations keep older kids awake long after they should be snoozing. Dr. Mindell suggests the following ways to ease bedtime fears:

  • Reassurance. Talk to your child about confronting her fears, perhaps with a book such as There’s a Monster In My Closet by Maurice Sendak.
  • Monster spray. Use a water mister to lightly spritz the room with “anti-boogeyman spray.” Leave the bottle next to your child’s bed so she can reapply as necessary.
  • Use your imagination. Logic isn’t incredibly helpful in these situations, but creativity counts. Enlist the family pet — tell your child that Tiger is on monster patrol as she slinks through the house at night.
  • Set limits. Don’t reinforce behaviors by allowing your child to sleep in your bed “just this once.” Turning on a nightlight is a more sustainable solution.
  • Consider a reward system. Award stars for nighttime acts of bravery, with a small prize for, say, two weeks of good behavior.

Plus: “Whether your child is 1, 3, or 9, you can go back and teach good sleep habits,” says Dr. Mindell. “But if you’ve been sitting on your daughter’s bed until she falls asleep for the past five years, don’t abruptly leave her alone one night.”

Mindell suggests tapering off your presence slowly. Spend three nights on the bed, then move to the floor for the next three nights, then stand in the doorway for three nights. Another way is to run errands. After the goodnight kiss, say, “I have to go put the laundry in the dryer. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” If your child is still awake when you return, sit with her for a bit before leaving on another errand.

Often, the reassurance that you’ll be returning — and the overall message that you’re always nearby — will be enough to lull your child to sleep.


Rebecca Kavanagh is contributing editor of START, EduGuide's early childhood publication written for families with children ages 0-5.