How do you keep kids pointed in the right direction at child development stages typical of the middle years? We asked dozens of parents and experts. A lot of the talk focused on middle school discipline. A father of three, corporate leader Richard Schalter had different family ideas that focused on building on children’s strengths.
Schalter is a first-generation college graduate who now serves as president of manufacturer Spartan Chassis. He told EduGuide publisher Bryan Taylor that he realized one day that the same tool that helped his company make better choices could help his own kids do the same: branding.
Taylor: What does branding have to do with raising kids?
Schalter: Kids get really attached to brands like Nike or Coke or Disney. They know that these brands are more than just a product. Each has its own attitude and makes us feel a certain way.
As kids wrestle with who they are in the world, creating their own brand is a way for them to make positive choices rather than just letting life happen to them. They choose expectations for themselves, so they’re more motivated to live up to them. And those expectations get reinforced by friends and adults who come to see them as a certain kind of kid.
Taylor: How does it work?
Schalter: I ask each of our kids to answer the same three questions our company asks itself:
- Who am I?
- What do I do?
- Why does that matter?
Next I ask them to pick four words that describe their personalities. These words create the focus for who they are and what other people can expect from them. For example, what do people count on my ninth grade son Adam for when he’s in band: a hard-worker, comedian or leader? What’s their emotional response: respect, laughter, appreciation? What does Adam want their response to be?
I help them think through and write down their answers. I also give them time to sleep on their decisions and revisit them periodically.
Taylor: What do they do with this list?
Schalter: Bring their brand to life. First, I help them use it as a filter to make decisions about what fits into their brand and what doesn’t. For instance, my fifth grader Kellen is creative, so I talked with her about where her creativity might show up, whether it’s being imaginative, flexible, or by solving problems. And I try to help her develop her own agenda to build her brand. Does she want to take after school art classes, try out for a community play or put together the family photo album?
As a parent, it’s fun to nurture their plans with special Christmas gifts and other activities. My daughter Lindsay is a dancer, so taking her to a ballet was a chance to see those skills in real life.
Second, I use it to help them get in the habit of evaluating their own choices. I ask the kids questions like how did you live out your brand today? Is your behavior consistent with who you’ve said you want to be? If you want to be a peacemaker like Jesus, is it enough to ignore gossip or do you need to confront it in some way? I ask the questions and let them work through the answers themselves.
Taylor: How has personal branding changed your kids?
Schalter: They’ve changed their responses to different situations. It makes them more proactive and gives them ownership of their identity.
My son Adam made a difficult decision to be in the high school musical instead of playing lacrosse. He said, "I see myself now as not just an athlete but also as a singer." Having a personal brand helps kids choose what is important to them and stick with it.
Taylor: How does this relate to school?
Schalter: I always point out to my kids that the classes they take and the grades they earn are just a way for them to create opportunities for themselves. The lower the grades, the fewer the doors that will be open to them and the harder they’ll have to work later to get where they want to be.