Almost all of us fall victim to parenting myths of one kind or another. When it comes to your child's speech language development, what's the best way to get her talking? Should you ask her questions and wait for a response?
Parenting Myth: The way to get children talking is to ask lots of questions.
Fact: Asking questions may lead to less talk from your child.
Questions like, “Do you have new shoes?” or “Are you going to school?” need only one-word answers from children. Unless they are born-talkers, most children will grow silent after answering “yes” or “no.” Even questions like “What do you like about preschool?” or “What color are your shoes?” can shut down conversation. Children wonder if they will get the answer “right.”
So how can you get children talking?
- Comment on something you notice, then wait. Say, “I see you have new shoes.” Or, “I hear you have a new brother.” Usually, the child will pick up the cue.
- Tell a story. Mention something you know will interest the child. “I saw the funniest bug today. It had eight legs and purple eyes.” Then wait for the child to share a story with you.
- Stay engaged, even if you'd rather sneak a peek at the TV. Make eye contact, look interested and respond once in awhile. Say things like, “Oh, really?” “Wow, that must have been scary.” Or even, “Mm-hmmm, then what?” so the child knows you're listening.
- Stay quiet and listen. It may take awhile for a child to warm up to a topic. Don't fill in all the silent spots. Just wait.
If your quiet child still isn't talking, then try a question or two. But ask open-ended questions--questions that must be answered with more than one or two words. “What did you like about Pinocchio?” rather than, “Did you think Pinocchio was funny?”
Using language is like mastering a sport: it takes practice. Children who get lots of practice talking with adults do better in school, and better in life. Show children you are an adult who cares and wants to hear what they have to say.