When my husband was recently considering taking a job in another city in Michigan, the first question that sprang to mind was: how will the children fare? Do we need academic and social strategies to help them adjust?
While the move was unlikely to greatly displace our four-year-old who is very sociable but not yet in public school, it meant quite another thing for our shy 11th-grader.
"Doesn't bother me," he said, when asked about going to a new high school. Questions were dismissed until a scant two weeks later when his tune changed. He adamantly refused to switch schools, saying he would commute to his old high school rather than make the switch.
Had we moved, we would have waited until the end of the school year. This would still have been difficult for our son, but not as hard as a transition in the middle of the year, when friendships and routines have already been founded. For some parents, a transfer or new job opportunity doesn't allow for such convenience. Children are often forced to leave beloved teachers and friends in the middle of the year.
Whether the student starts at a new school in the middle of the year or at the beginning of a new year, there are academic and social strategies that parent involvement, schools, an dteachers can implement to make the transition to a new school easier, according to Jo-Anne Julius, school secretary at Lakewood Elementary in Ann Arbor.
Offer Social Strategies to Children
Academics are not usually the problem, she says. Schools in each state must follow a similar schedule and curriculum, so students can usually catch up in their new classroom with ease. Socially, however, it may be another story. Things may be much more difficult for a young soul forced to leave playmates behind, she says.
For starters, parents could find children in the neighborhood who will be attending the same school, and set up a few play dates ahead of time in order to introduce their child, Julius suggests. If a child is moving in the middle of the year, and parents know ahead of time, the school may be able to find a pen pal (or an e-pal) in the form of another student in the class with whom the child can begin to correspond. Once he or she actually makes the switch, it should feel less isolating to know at least one student in the class.
Early Visits Can Ease Stress in Children
Julius urges parents to bring the child to see the school ahead of time, and if school is in session, to peek into the classroom.
"Talk with us," Julius tells parents. Parents should share "what they think their child's anxieties could be." If special services were required at another school, let the new school know so that similar provisions can be made there, she adds.
School employees do what they can by sending information about the new child around before the student arrives, Julius says, and introducing the child to others once the move is made. "We don't have one person that does that. It's a whole team."
It may help to remember that "it's never as hard the second day as the first," says Kimburr-Lynn Gifford, a social worker at Green Elementary School in Chesterfield. "It's very similar to you starting a new job."
At the elementary school where she works, there is a program for students attending the school for the first time at the beginning of each year. The new students (there were about 80 last year) meet at lunch on four occasions to be welcomed to the new school, meet the teachers, talk about how the school may differ from their former school, and discuss how hard it can be to leave friends behind. If necessary, parental approval is sought for the counselor to continue to see a child with particular issues fitting in.
Unfortunately there isn't any special program to make switching schools easier for those coming to the school in the middle of the year, Gifford says. Although the child will be paired with another student in the same classroom and attempts will be made to make the child feel welcome, it's not as structured as in September, and there are often no others in the same situation which may make the child feel isolated.
Parent Involvement in Education Makes a Difference
Since a transition of the magnitude that involves a new school involves moving residences, Gifford says parents can help things seem less foreign to their child by having the child's bedroom set-up and things in place before he or she moves in. Then a parent can help by being interested and involved in how the child is fitting in, asking questions about how school went and about friends, she notes.
Denis Ringle, a counselor at Botsford Elementary school in Livonia, also feels that parental involvement can make all the difference. "The children that do best in school? Their parents are involved all the time."
Get Out of the MIddle: School Transition Needs Your Participation
Ringle had a few more suggestions as to how parents can make the move easier. He said they should visit the new school and home as far ahead of time as possible and take pictures to bring home to show their children.
At Botsford Elementary, like Green elementary school, they have a welcoming program set-up for new students each September. During the year, Ringle admits it's harder.
But parents who take their child into the school and show him the classroom and try to help ease the transition can make a big difference, he says.
Being so involved may ease the transition of a younger child, but what about the older child? It's not as easy when a child is reticent to have their parent involved in any way.
Anne Young, counselor and department head at Troy High School, says that there is a program at the start of the year for new students in high school too. "We try to give them a packet of information and try to get them to join a club."
Find Adolescent Activities to Help Kids Adapt
Even students coming in the middle of the year would do well to join a club or school activity right away, Young says. "That's the fastest way to make friends. They've got to do something besides attend classes and go home."
Teachers and counselors will try to find the new student a partner for lunch, which can be the loneliest time in a new school, Young says, but the staff is often too busy once school has started to employ the same effort they do with new students at the beginning of the year.
Even at the high school level, what parents say can make all the difference, Young notes. If a parent pushes a child to pursue an activity, the child may be more receptive to doing so.
According to those in the know, a transition to a new school may not be easy for a child at any time, but parents who acknowledge the difficulty and do what they can to ease the way are most assured of children who will fit into their new school with the least disruption possible.
Nancy Deutsch is a parent and freelance writer.