Nothing hurts more than hearing others say your child is imperfect. And except for some grandparents, no one says it more than schools do. That’s because no one (except for some grandparents) spends more time with your child.

Because you know your child better than anyone, it’s important to work with schools to understand and solve behavior problems. So if you’re getting a lot of phone calls and notes about behavior these days, here are some tips that may help. 

  1. Ask teachers for specific examples of the behavior they don’t like. 
  2. Check your child’s perception of these events. How would she describe the problem? Is she bored, confused, scared? Each requires a different approach to finding solutions. 
  3. Watch for a mismatch of teaching and learning styles. For example, a child who learns best while moving and touching may frustrate a teacher who values watching and listening. 
  4. Share with teachers your knowledge about what motivates and stimulates your child to learn. Share also the techniques you use at home to get your child to behave well. If you don’t have any, collaborate with teachers to find some! 
  5. Work together—teacher, child and parent—to find a system on which you can agree. Expect the same good behavior and learning both at home and at school.

 

Linda Wacyk is a mother of four children and the former Editor of EduGuide publications.