As parents, you want what is best for your child. You nurture and love and guide your child from infancy through the early years. And then, all at once it seems, your little one is ready to attend school. You struggle with the impulse to hold your son or daughter close to you just a little longer, realizing you must soon let go. But do you need to let go? What is your role as parent in the education of your child?
As a kindergarten and first grade teacher, I know that
Instill a Love of Learning in Your Child.
Long before he enters school, he will form an attitude about learning. Will academics seem a forced intrusion in his world, or a natural extension of concepts you have already explored together?
One of the ways to make the transition to school a pleasant experience is to read to your child each day. Find a quiet time and place to cuddle and share a story. Kristen Fern, grade 1 teacher, explains that “children who have been surrounded by books develop a love for reading and writing that will last a lifetime.”
To instill a love of learning…read aloud. Model reading and writing. Encourage and generate excitement over any attempt to read and write. You’re already on your way to school success!
Model reading and writing yourself. For example, when you are reading a magazine, give your child a book or a magazine with plenty of colorful pictures. Children love to feel part of this “grown-up” activity.
When writing a letter to a friend or relative, let your toddler draw a picture to send along. Preschoolers may wish to dictate a story to send a loved one. What a thrill to hear their own words read back to them!
Does your child memorize a favorite book and “read” it to you? Wonderful! Does your child “scribble write” and share a story he or she has “written”? Fabulous! Praise your child’s earliest efforts at reading and writing.
Involvement in Your Child’s School Is Key to Successful Learning
- Parent and teacher interaction is vital. As we have just seen, you are your child’s first teacher. Some parents believe that when their child reaches school-age, they must part with this job description. Please don’t! As Sally Howard, grade 3 teacher says, there simply “doesn’t exist an 8am to 3pm, now he’s yours, kid.” We need to work together. What do you see as your child’s strengths and weaknesses? Let the teacher know. With this knowledge, she can teach to your child’s strengths and will discuss ways to improve less-developed skills.
“Parents of today need to take a more active role in their child’s education,” says former PTO president Kathy McCoy. “That role does not stop at the end of the driveway as they board the bus. I believe a child’s success is measured by the expectation of the parent.”
- Discuss changes in your child’s life. This should also be part of the relationship you have with your child’s teacher. Has your child recently lost a pet? Is a family member ill? Is there talk of changing jobs? Even positive events, such as moving to a new home, can be stressful for a young child. A boy or girl who appears excited about a change may be nervous or fearful deep down.
A teacher appreciates being informed. She will observe any changes in your child’s academic or social behavior, and will be sensitive to his current needs.
- A positive self-image is one of the most vital aspects of school success. Again, parent and teacher interaction is stressed. When your child witnesses the important people in her life working together to support her efforts, self-esteem is heightened. When you communicate with your child and with her teacher, you are sending a significant message. You are saying that she is deserving of your attention; you are demonstrating that you value her education.
- Emphasize doing your best, not being the best. This is also a healthy message to convey to your son or daughter in order to help create a positive self-image. Not every child will immediately “catch on” to reading or writing or math or science. Once again, praising your child’s sincere efforts is a crucial part of the education process. It builds that self-esteem. It continues to send a positive message about school. School is a place to learn and grow AND to make mistakes. It should not be presented as a frightening environment where you are judged by your grades alone.
Rather than compare your child to others who may be doing “better” (even a sibling), support his or her individual progress. If your child is having difficulty, try to clear up any confusing concepts; speak with the teacher about ways you can motivate your child to complete a troublesome project. Help your child to build confidence in his or her own abilities.
- Review school work. Ask your child questions about school, review work brought home, and check homework. Tina Keegan, grade 4 teacher, reminds parents to “review material covered in school even if no homework has been assigned.” This will enable you to spot any problems in the early stages, before your child’s self-esteem begins to dwindle.
- Teach organization skills. Just as it is advantageous to read and write with your child in those early years, it is beneficial to teach your child organization. To do this, special education teacher Kristen Marciano emphasizes that “routines are so important.”
A young child’s routine is his or her sense of time. For instance, a toddler learns that first we get dressed, then we eat breakfast, then brush our teeth…A child feels secure in knowing what to expect next. Routines should continue with your school-age child, such as doing homework “at the same time every day, maybe even in a designated spot,” adds Ms. Marciano.
Even a “two-dollar pencil case is worth the investment,” says Christina Roberts, grade 1 teacher, since “keeping children’s desks clean and organized is difficult.” When you teach children to organize not only their materials, but also their time by establishing comfortable routines, they worry less and learn more.
- Avoid too many after-school activities. Part of a child’s routine should include some free time when school is over and homework is complete. While it is certainly worthwhile for your child to join a club or activity he or she enjoys, too many obligations will leave your child feeling pressured. Give your child plenty of time to grow beyond the boundaries of school or clubs or sports or music lessons… You want your child feeling fresh and ready to learn new things each day. So, having time to just “be a kid” is a must.
- Health factors should be considered for your child’s school success. One of my first suggestions to parents who are concerned about a lack of progress and/or an inability to concentrate, is to mention these things to their child’s pediatrician. Anything from poor eyesight to a slight hearing loss to a minor illness can keep your child from doing his or her best.
Moreover, “a well-rested and well-nourished child will do better in school,” notes Maria Tasso, M.D., a physician with Pediatric Associates of Connecticut. “Also of importance is regular exercise. It improves blood flow to all vital organs, and produces a child who is better prepared physically and mentally for the rigors of education.”
- Listen to your child. This is, above all else, the key to guiding your child toward the achievement of his or her fullest potential. Accept the responsibility you have as a parent to listen carefully to your child. Is he or she excited about something happening in school? Expressing anxiety over an assignment? Reluctant to go to school due to a fight with a friend? Respect your child enough to listen attentively with an open mind.
Walking down that path leading to the school doors is not the end of your part in your child’s education, but rather an open invitation to become a traveling partner down that long and winding academic road ahead. Teachers count on you, the parents, to help make this journey a wonderful adventure. By becoming actively involved in your child’s education, you play a key role in his or her school success. Welcome!
Donna Marie (Pitino) Merritt has written 15 math and science books for children (pre-K to grade 2, fiction and nonfiction), as well as 38 teacher's guides, educational columns and newsletters, magazine articles, poetry, and numerous fiction and nonfiction stories to motivate readers, grades 2-12. Visit www.DonnaMarieBooks.com for details.