It's been five years since Eric first boarded a yellow school bus.
It seems like yesterday.
After years of medical challenges that created an uncertain future, riding the bus to his neighborhood school represented sweet victory and changed my view of school buses and their drivers.
Twenty-five million students ride these gentle, noisy road giants each day. But they've become controversial, the result of valid concerns over their lack of seat belts. Several states, including New York, Florida and California, require seat belts now, but many don't.
My heart goes out to families whose children have been injured or killed as a result of a bus accident. One death or injury is one too many.
Putting the unthinkable aside, I support these oversized road vehicles. Riding the bus represents an important parental lesson in letting go, an especially tough feat for parents of children with special needs.
There's something comforting about being required by law and flashing red lights to slow your hectic pace and watch young children with windswept hair swing lunch boxes and dance home.
In these days when some drivers routinely ignore stop signs andrun red lights, pausing for the big yellow school bus is one of the few rules of the road most drivers still honor.
Brings Back Memories
Who among us hasn't dreamed big dreams with his or her nosed pressed against fogged-up windows, discovered puppy love behind those tall seat backs or struggled to bring home an oversized class project or the class gerbil?
Who hasn't screamed out the windows triumphantly on that long-awaited final day of school?
What parent hasn't celebrated the sense of personal freedom that results when a child's bus disappears from sight?
How many parents today can recite the name of the person entrusted to safely transport their children to school?
Eric's bus driver knows how to handle medical emergencies and exhibits skilled compassion in getting her charges to school safely. But she and her peers now share the road with luxury cars, vans and sports utility vehicles that create traffic jams in school parking lots and on city streets, making their work increasingly risky.
Experts stress that school buses are one of the safest modes of transportation.
A 2002 National Highway Traffic Safety Administration study found an average of 10.2 crash deaths a year among those riding in school buses. A separate 2002 report from the National Research Council found that walking, riding a bicycle and traveling to school in a car were far riskier than riding in a school bus.
Fostering Independence
Kids need unstructured time away from a parent's safety net to foster independence and to dream. Some kids have never played kick the can or hide and seek, or savored the last waning moments of a fleeting summer night before their parent's calls interrupt the humid night air. Some have never ridden the yellow school bus.
I still remember Eric's first ride.
I recall the color of his shirt, the brand of his jeans and the smell of his hair. I remember asking myself if I was ready for this important rite of passage as Eric grinned through the window. I still see his smiling face as he traveled down the street in that mini bus that I never imagined would be at my driveway. As his bus faded from sight, I feigned confidence as I walked indoors, then cried over what the morning signified.
For one day, we were no different than many other families.
Granted, my son requires seat belts to secure his wheelchair on the special bus that separates him from his peers, but I would put him on the school bus anyway.Then I'd trust him to come home to me safe and sound, for milk and cookies and after-school talk.
Just a tad more independent than when he left.
Judy Winter is an award-winning journalist. This article first appeared in the Lansing State Journal in September of 1998. It is reprinted by permission.