Like everything else we teach our children, helping kids to learn about sexuality and reproductive health takes time. These ideas might help you start the conversation, and keep it going.

  • Watch TV and movies together. Many story lines show actors making poor sexual choices. Ask your child what consequences might result from the actor’s behavior, and what other choices the actor could have made. For example say, “That woman had sex with a man she just met. What might happen because she did that? What else could she have done that would have kept her safe and healthy?”
     
  • Bring up current events from the newspaper or your friends. Children respond to stories of real people. For example say, “I feel sad about some news I just heard. My cousin’s son has to drop out of school and get a job. He and his girlfriend had sex, and now she’s pregnant. He will have to work and pay child support instead of finishing his education. What do you think of that?”
     
  • Be an “askable” adult. Remain calm when your child asks questions about sex. Ask your child’s opinion; then, listen. When you value your child by taking time to hear his or her ideas, you show that you are approachable. For example say, “I saw some students kissing in the hallway at school today. What do you and your friends think about that?”
     
  • Promote respect and responsibility for both sons and daughters. Avoid stereotyping that teaches sons that macho men have lots of sex, and teaches daughters that it is the girl’s responsibility to say no to sex. For example say, “Son, everyone is not ‘doing it.’ In fact, real men show maturity by having self control and respect for others.” Or, “Daughter, not everyone is ‘doing it.’ In fact, mature young people are respectful of others and don’t try to talk them into doing things they don’t want to do.”
     
  • Share your values. For example say, “I think it’s important for people to wait until they are married before having sex. Making that commitment shows respect for each other. That way, babies are born into families that can take care of them. I hope you have made a decision to wait.”

 

Wendy L. Sellers, RN (Health4Hire, Inc.), is a parent, Certified Prevention Specialist, and health education consultant. Her new curriculum for students in grades 4 to 7 is titled, "Puberty: The Wonder Years." For more information, click here or email her.